Are You A Misfit Too?

Dear Fellow Misfits,

I am a Misfit. And I'm a Christian. So does that automatically make me a Misfit Christian? Probably. I'm a published romance novelist, but I'm also a Christian. Yeah, I'd say I'm a Misfit. After getting to know blogger and author Jason Boyett, (www.jasonboyett.com - check out the review I wrote for his new book in my first blog on this site. Just look on to the left of this text and click on "March") I realized that there are more people out there like me than I thought. So I thought I'd write a blog for all of us, people who are Misfits--loners, self-proclaimed nerds, quirky dance-to-the-beat of-a-different drummers, and independents --in Lives, and in our Christianity.    

 

Because we don't fit into the normal kind of Christian mold. We are square pegs in a round hole. It's a given. We have lots of non-Christian friends. We have Jewish friends. We read about other religions and we still believe our own. We wonder if things are exactly as we imagine them to be. And because we're Misfits who are actually pretty lonely sometimes, who wish they could just belong somewhere-- when we become Christians, we expect to walk into any church and automatically find our niche there in a way we've never been able to in Life.   

 

But that isn't what usually happens. Because Misfits looks at things differently. We tend to ask more questions. We seem to want to introduce elements that push envelopes and threaten traditions. And sometimes that is so welcome in churches, but more often, it so isn't. Sometimes it's hard to find your place when you're a Misfit. Sometimes it's hard to understand why churches do things the way they do.   

 

I'm not saying Misfits are better than other Christians. I'm saying we are different. Believe me, that's not better, just ... different. Does giving it a label make me feel better? Well, sort of. I mean, maybe I can't fit in anywhere else, but now that I know what I am, and have carved out this little spot in the InterWebs, I know I can fit in here, right? And I know there are more people like me out there. Maybe you need a place to come and feel like you're part of a group of people who feel sort of like you. So here it is -- a place.     

 

Maybe you'll read this and think what is her deal? Maybe you'll read it and think, "Yeah, I get it." Nonbelievers are welcome here too. Part of being a Misfit Christian usually includes being able to listen to the opinions of others, no matter what they believe, without feeling like you're being disloyal to Christ or your church.    

 

Here's my own personal rundown of traits of Misfits and Misfit Christians:     

 

• A Misfit who becomes a Christian, will probably be a Misfit Christian (MC)
• Creative people are often Misfits, i.e., Misfits are often creative people
• MCs try to rock the church boat and often get hurt doing it.
• MCs have more doubts because they tend to analyze things more.
• MCs often have social phobias and major baggage and tend to get hurt easily. (Maybe some of you don't have social phobias and baggage, but, well, really?)
• MCs come from a background of not fitting in, but when they first join a church, they think they will automatically fit in because, hey, they’re now part of a big, loving spiritual group.
• MCs don’t do Christianspeak very well.
• MCs tend to become bitter and cynical after awhile, if they can’t find their place in a church.
• MCs eventually try to fit into a church, somewhere, somehow, mimicking whatever attributes will help them "find their place".
• MCs tend to drop out of church, after trying very hard to fit in, but eventually realizing they just can't keep up the pretense.
• MCs tend to keep an open mind.

In every blog I hope to talk about things that tend to bother Misfits like me. So here is the first thing that, well, bothers me. 

Churches can be like corporations sometimes, with their own language and rules and cliques. Of course every church is different, but in evangelical churches, some things are pretty much across the board. For instance, the way Christians think they should talk to one another. My experience has been that many people who consider themselves mature Christians, "real" Christians, spiritual leaders, talk a certain way. I call it Christianspeak. If you ask another Christian to do something for you and he says, “Will you release me from that?” You know you’re in the presence of a hardcore linguist. Or if he or she tends to talk in King James' English. I usually recommend that these friends take up working in Shakespeare in the Park, because that talent should not go to waste. 

I never could do Christianspeak well. When I hear the word, "Brethren", I can’t help it, I automatically think of the word "Sistern", which is a deep hole in the ground, though spelled differently. Some of Christianspeak comes from the Bible, and we have it in our heads that this makes it okay. But Jesus met people where they lived and he still does. And in my opinion, so should we. 

Can you imagine if Jesus had spoken to the people at the Sermon on the Mount in today’s slang? I can just hear it – “Yo, yo, my man, I’m telling ya, the meek, like they’re totally gonna inherit the earth! Holla!” They would have thought he was nuts and/or walked away from him. And that's probably why people nowadays walk away from us when we're trying to tell them about Jesus by speaking in an ancient vernacular. They think we're nuts or pretentious or just annoying. 

So here's my question of the week for you: What do you think of Christianspeak? Is it necessary? Does it bother you? Why or why not? 

I realize, after reading this over, that this is a pretty convoluted beginning to the blog, but bear with me, please. I'm a Misfit. Sometimes it takes me awhile to get things right, if ever.

Because I'm a Misfit, I won't be posting an email address here. I believe in the whole "what you say in secret will be shouted from the housetops" deal. (Totally taken out of context!) If you have a comment for me, please leave it on this blog and I will respond to it here. My only request is that any comments left for me or for others be given with courtesy and respect. And because you're all Misfits, I know you'll do that. 

I won't always be physically staring at this blog on my computer screen, but I will check in. So when I'm not here, please, talk amongst yourselves.  
 

 Peace, Tess

Misfit Christians -- Do you Doubt? Review for O ME OF LITTLE FAITH

Dear Misfit Christians,

I've been trying to find the right subject for my first post on my Misfit Christians blog, and lucky for me, it dropped right into my lap. My friend, Jason Boyett (www.jasonboyett.com) kindly allowed me to read an advanced copy of his book, O ME OF LITTLE FAITH, and write a review. As a Misfit Christian I can tell you that many of us struggle with doubts, fears, and have more than a few questions at times about the faith we say we love. Jason Boyett's book takes us on a journey through his own life as a kind of Misfit Christian, one who challenges the status quo and asks the questions that most Christians are afraid to ask. Here's the review, and if you're a TRUE Misfit like me, you'll pre-order O ME OF LITTLE FAITH as soon as possible!

REVIEW FOR JASON BOYETT'S
O ME OF LITTLE FAITH

By Tess Mallory

I found out about Jason Boyett's website when I first got on Twitter. Someone posted a blurb basically saying "here's a funny guy talking about Jesus" and I followed it and found something--or rather someone--very interesting. Here was a guy who wasn't afraid to say "I'm a Christian, but I have some questions." Here was a guy who didn't subscribe to the party line and who invited people--Christian and non-Christian--to say what they really thought. And he wrote with a dry humor that made me laugh, daily. I was impressed. For the first time in a very long time, here was a place where I could go and express things long held inside. And here was a place where people like me could come and realize -- "Hey, I am not alone."

So when I heard Jason had a new book coming out, O ME OF LITTLE FAITH, a memoirs of his journey through Christianity and his struggle with doubt, I begged him to let me review it. So here I am, but as I write this, I find suddenly that words fail me. How do you comment on another person's barefaced honesty? How do you explain to someone else how amazing it is to read what another Christian, being open and real, has to say about his innermost thoughts and fears and doubts? I'm not sure, but I'll give it a try.

First, I have to say that almost every sentence in Jason's book makes me stop and think. The word "thought-provoking" seems very lame in trying to convey the real impact this book had on me. His experiences in church, in revivals, in daily life, mirror the very real spiritual awakenings--or lack of--and questions that arise in a Christian's life. There is no pious preaching in these pages, and no "Christianspeak" meant to evoke an emotional response in the reader. There is just straight out "Here's what I think, what I've questioned, what I wonder about" coupled with some good old Jason Boyett humor, historical and Biblical references, and honest reflections.

There are specific doubts addressed in the book, but no real conclusions reached. If you're expecting a book that features some kind of heart-shattering realization by its author as he reaches a Heaven-sent level of understanding, this might not be the book for you. This is a book of frank self-appraisal by a Christian who has walked out of the box of the intellectual constrictions often placed upon us by the church, our pastors, our teachers, and ourselves. This is a book that asks some hard questions that can't really be answered. Yet in this same book there is a call to faith that cannot be ignored, along with an admonition to keep believing, that is both reassuring and real.

As someone who eventually learned in her evangelical life that she was never quite in step with the rest of her Christian friends, finding Jason's website, (www.jasonboyett.com), and reading his book, has meant a lot to me. O ME OF LITTLE FAITH not only sends a breath of fresh air careening through the often stuffy realm of Christian publications, but contains a message borne on the winds of honesty, courage, and compassion.

Next time -- What the Misfit Christian blog is all about.