Monday, June 14, 2010

Is It God's Fault?

Hi Misfits! 
Me again. Sorry I have been so lame lately and not been writing my blog. Since I have "talked" to all of you last, I have learned that another dear friend of mine has cancer. This kind of cancer is highly treatable, thank God, and my friend is in what we who idly stand by and watch this pain call, "good spirits". My cousin Linda, the recipient of many of your prayers, has also been in "good spirits". She has begun her chemo treatment and so far has not gotten sick, as many people do when their immune system is wiped out by the miracle of modern medicine. So that's good. That's great. 

Do I sound bitter? 

I don't mean to, truly I don't. Because in spite of my silence here lately I'm not blaming God. I believe to the depths of my being that disease and illness on this world are caused by the fallen nature of said world. We live in a world that is trapped in entropy--where everything is running down, breaking down, dying. And cancer is part of that entropy, at least until a cure is found. (Did you know that cancer is caused when bad cells multiply without restraint? That's entropy that is multiplying itself. I like to call this When Bad Cells Go Badder. Nature corrupted. Entropy out of control.)

So why doesn't God heal everyone with cancer, especially people who worship Him? I have to refer to this little scripture: "The rain falls on the just and the unjust." And I think that's a really great example of the way things work on this fallen world. Rain is one of the most necessary and vital parts of the natural world that God set into motion. It, along with the sun, gives us Life. We carbon-based units are among the happy plants receiving this Life. 

But rain has a dark side too. It can destroy. So when happy little raindrops fall on the just and the unjust, we can deal with that, but when the floods wipe out our aunt in Duluth, who loved the Lord, it might cause us to wonder. So A hurricane hits a city, an earthquake destroys a country--some people believe this is the hand of God. I personally believe that weather patterns are to blame, not the Father who is called Love. So what does this mean? That we're at the mercy of physics? Yeah, kind of. Except for the intervening, all-mighty hand of God.

(Side note: Just imagine for a moment, this fallen world without God's Spirit. There are a lot of things I wonder about, but the fact that  God's Spirit here among us is all that keeps us from devouring one another isn't one of them.) 

Most of us believe that Prayer invokes God's help. Why? Why doesn't God just see a need and help? Well, who says He doesn't? But at the same time, there seems to be strength in numbers. I have friends who would say that's proof of the power of our own energy, gathered up and sent to the person who needs it. And since I'm a Misfit, I have to say, maybe that's part of it. But God still has to be in the mix, I'm thinking, because we are trapped in this natural scientific entropy, and only something supernatural can shake it. 

Anyway, back to my friend and my cousin. I don't blame God, though I certainly understand why a person would. I do have questions about why there was a Tree in the Garden and why stupid Man was allowed to make such a choice that ended us up here -- (Hmmm....a crappy world run by the Prince of Darkness, or friendship with God in a perfect Eden? Gee, that's a tough one...) ---and a few other things, but I am pretty hard and fast in my belief that most of the bad stuff in life happens either because of A) Fallen People B) this Fallen World or C) Something We Can't Fully Understand (and no, this is not a cop-out option. I truly believe there are some things that happen that are beyond our understanding.) 

And if you believe A and B, then the belief that Christ came to Earth because Man screwed up and chose this instead of Him, and God the Father wanted to provide a way back to Paradise through something Man could understand (a blood sacrifice, someone giving their life for someone else), makes perfect sense.

There's a part of me that wants to pump myself up with faith. You know that kind of faith--the kind that believes no matter what that it's all okay, that God is in control and whatever happens is His will. But maybe it isn't His will.  Maybe when Man made the choice to turn his back on the Creator, he made the choice to die here in pain and misery. And God had to honor the choice of free will that Man made. No,  I just don't have the energy to pump myself up, but I deep inside of me I am still trusting Him to grant mercy.

And I must confess, I have been rocked by what is happening to those I love. And I am clinging to faith in a God I have believed in since I was 10 years old. Do I blame Him? No. But there is a part of me that must, in spite of that, ask, "Why?" Even though I know the answer.    

So if my cousin and my friend are not granted longer life on this earth, will I stop believing? I don't think so. But I'm pretty sure I'll be asking a lot more questions. And continue to curse this world of chaos and decay. And pray that tomorrow I will see a rainbow, and remember that in spite of this fallen world, God is here, and that miracles do still happen.

May the Peace that passes understanding be yours...and mine... today. 

Misfit Tess